We're not feminists-we reject that label because we feel that it represents a white ideology. In our culture the term is associated with an ideology and practice which is anti-men. Our group is not anti-men at all. We have what I'd describe as a "controlled" relationship with them. (Bryan et al. 25)The battle on two fronts is no easy task and the women's relationship with their men is not always "controlled." The Southall Black Sisters were accused of "washing their dirty linen" when they exposed cases of domestic violence, even though the group was equally active in protesting police brutality and selective immigration policy against Asians.
It struck me that if violence engendered shame, it was also true that shame engendered violence. And I began to think that this little cluster of ideas-shame, honor, pride--those three were somewhere very close to the center of how we organize our experience, and that nobody had really plucked that thread out before to look at it. ("PW Interviews" 50).Grewal correctly argues that Rushdie's reshuffling of shame, honor, and pride ignores the power differential between men and women, an inequality of power that translates into an asymmetry of action (35).
He would come to the picket line and try to mock us and insult us. One day he said "Mrs Desai, you can't win in a sari, I want to see you in a mini." I said "Mrs Gandhi she wears a sari and she is ruling a vast country." I spat at him "I have my husband behind me and I'll wear what he wants me to." He was very angry and he started referring to me as big mouth. On my second encounter with Ward [the managing director] he said "Mrs Desai, I'll tell the whole Patel community that you are a loose woman." I said "I am here with this placard! Look! I am showing all England that you are a bad man. You are going to tell only the Patel community but I am going to tell all of England." Then he realised that I would not weaken and he tried to get at the younger girls. . . .You see he knows about Indian society and he is using it. Even for those inside he has found for each one an individual weakness, to frighten some and to shame others. He knows that Indian women are often easily shamed. (Cited in Wilson 64)The management strategy of shaming striking women invokes a domestic code of conduct for ensuring a docile workforce. Desai's words, however, prove gendered identities to be more complicated than the manager's reliance on the binary opposition of shame and shamelessness might suggest.
The strategy of shaming wife-beaters was developed in India, where the corrupt legal system favored male offenders.Back
Sharam is not restricted to Pakistani culture alone, but appears as a code of conduct throughout the Indian subcontinent (Wilson 42; 99).